Transporting My Alone-Time Peace to My Kid-Filled Chaos

Transporting My Alone-Time Peace to My Kid-Filled Chaos

January 22, 2024 0 By Laura

My oldest son gets on the bus at 6 am. It’s so early, and I really don’t like waking up early. But his early bus gives me a 45 minute gap between him leaving and waking my middle kids up for the elementary school bus. During that time, I make a cup of coffee and snuggle up with a devotional book, my Bible, or my journal. I spend time with the Lord and pray for anything heavy on my heart and the upcoming day. 

At the end of each day, once my kids are in bed, I spend time reading my Bible reading plan and I listen to a recap podcast of the daily reading. I then spend time praying again, usually for my kids, family, friends, and anything else that comes to mind. 

My mornings and nights are incredibly peaceful. I love my alone time, and I look forward to these pockets of calmness each and every day. They help me process anything that I didn’t have time to address during the day, and they help me start and end my day with gratitude and just being still.

But during the day, both before and after school, my house is a zoo. I want to call it organized chaos, but it’s often far more chaos than organization, despite my perfectionist, Type A tendencies. 

The mornings are filled with me repeating myself over and over:

“It’s time to get out of bed.”

“Please finish getting dressed.” 

“You need both shoes on your feet.”

“Where is your lunchbox?”

“Do you have a jacket?” 

I’m pretty sure I could record a few phrases and just play them on repeat each morning and my kids would never know the difference. 

Afternoons are similar:

“Did you finish your homework?”

“Please hang your backpack on the hook.”

“Pick up your shoes off the floor.” 

“Do you have a water bottle for practice?” 

“Is your stuff in the car?” 

The chaos that ensues while I’m trying to get four kids to complete tasks required for each day is enough to make the calmest, most patient person a bit frazzled. Add to that finishing my own work, preparing dinner, and getting out of the house on time for whatever sport or activity we have going on, and it’s pure pandemonium. 

I really enjoy order and routine and feeling like I have everything under control.

So you can imagine how overwhelmed I can get during these chunks of time throughout my day where chaos and crazy seems to be the benchmark. 

I can easily get overstimulated from the chaos, and that results in me being not as nice of a mom as I would like to be. I get snappy, short, and abrasive. I can be critical at times, and my patience depletes very quickly when I feel frazzled. A hurried, overwhelmed mom is not a very pleasant mom. 

I’m working on this.

I’m trying to be more patient with my kids and myself, and I am trying to give more grace. I’m trying to remember that my kids do not have the “hurry up” mindset that I have (and that’s a good thing!) and that their brains are not developed enough to be able to comprehend and process the multiple commands I am throwing at them amidst the chaos. It’s all a work in progress. 

But a few days ago, I was sitting alone in silence, enjoying my quiet time, and I thought to myself, “This is just so peaceful. I love this. I feel like I can conquer anything right now.” And then I thought ahead to what the day would bring and all the tasks that needed to be done, and I immediately felt overwhelmed and fearful of how I would feel later in the day in the middle of the chaos. 

I thought, “Man, if I could just bring this level of peace and calm and clarity to the chaotic moments in my day, that would be a game-changer!” 

So I started praying that God would help me do that. That He would lead me back to this feeling of peace when all the kids are doing their kid things, whether that’s not listening, fighting with a sibling, panicking that they can’t find something they need, or simply being noisy and rambunctious children.

I prayed that God would help me translate the peace I feel in those safe, comfortable, quiet moments with Him into the wildest parts of my days. And, perhaps most importantly, I prayed that I would embrace both the calm and the chaos and be thankful for them both.

Sometimes bringing peace to our craziest moments is more about our mindset than anything else.  

I often struggle to remember that chaos can be good. It means my kids are healthy and safe–to be themselves, to be bouncing off the walls, and to be comfortable with expressing their feelings at any moment. They know they can act out in the worst way around their family and still be loved and cherished and cared for. They know they can push me to my limits and I will still hug and kiss them goodnight every single day. Chaos shows that they are growing and thriving and learning, and that is all very good. 

I know older parents love to tell younger parents that they’re going to miss the younger years, and even though my kids are still young, I already feel some of that. I’m thankful for them growing older and how my relationships with them have evolved, but they aren’t babies anymore. That’s special and fun in its own way, and truthfully, I don’t want to go back to the baby years, but I do fully realize that I will miss this chaos one day. 

I remind myself often that I GET to do this life.

I GET to be my kids’ mom and do everything that entails. I get to put them to bed, wake them in the mornings, get them off the bus, drive them to church, watch their practices, cheer for them at games, clean up their messes, talk them through conflicts, and help them with their homework. I get to be their mom and do all of these things. What a blessing. 

Maybe it’s because I’m a solo parent who doesn’t share my kids, or maybe it’s because I’m tired literally all of the time, but I sometimes forget how much of a blessing it is to be a mom. I have so many single mom friends who have to share their kids with their co-parent and I know it is so hard for so many of them to feel like they’re missing parts of their kids’ lives. 

While I am perpetually exhausted, I truly wouldn’t have it any other way.

I get to be a mom 100% of the time and that is such a blessing, even in the midst of the crazy, chaotic days, the endless noise, and the constant messes.

I’m praying tonight as I write this in the calm stillness of my house that this night time peace and overwhelming reminder of my blessings is translated to my daytime chaos tomorrow. I’m praying that I see the beauty in the wild and crazy afternoons and the hurried mornings, and I wish the same for all my fellow moms out there. 

We get to do this. Peace and chaos can co-exist, and we get to be a part of it.