Those He Called, He Also Justified

Those He Called, He Also Justified

January 13, 2022 0 By Laura

I always dreamed of having an important calling from the Lord. I felt incredibly directionless for so many years, and I bounced around to different jobs and interests and dreams because I didn’t know what He had in store for me. I had countless majors in college, as well as several jobs after college that were completely unrelated to my degree.

When I found freelance writing in my mid-20s, it felt like the answer to a several-years-long prayer. I finally had a sustainable career that I could manage with a growing family and that I could do from wherever my family and I chose to plant roots. And I was pretty good at it, and I didn’t hate it. It seemed like a big win to me. Even though I didn’t feel like it was necessary my calling in life, it was definitely an answer to prayer and it felt like a stepping-off point to something bigger and better.

Over a decade ago, before I was an actual writer, I said that I wanted to write a book one day. It sounded fun and exciting and fancy, but it also felt like a pipe dream.

A few years ago, however, that pipe dream transformed and began to feel like an actual calling. Like THE calling. The one I had been waiting for my entire life. But even when I felt confident that it was an actual calling from the Lord on my life, it seemed like a much farther in the future kind of thing. I had no idea what I would write about, how the process worked, or how I would get started. So I took the calling and put it in my back pocket for another day. Or another year.

A few months ago, I finally joined a writers training group. I thought the group would help me hit the ground running, and while it did encourage me to write more for myself and not just for clients, it stagnated me in other areas. I was (and honestly still am) paralyzed by all there is to know and do.

I need a social media following, I need a substantial blog and website, I need an idea around which to write a book… I have none of those things and I haven’t the first clue how to acquire or create them.

But what I do have is a calling. And I have confidence in that calling. I know deep in my soul that God has called me to write a book and share His faithfulness that’s woven through my story.

I’m overwhelmed at the sheer volume of what I need to do, and even more overwhelmed at the amount of information I feel I need to consume before I can even begin to achieve any of those things. But I have to keep coming back to the calling. I have to keep remembering that God is the one who is ordaining this, and when God calls us to something, He makes a way.

I believe God will equip me and help walk me through the steps I need to take, but I also know that I need to have the discipline and focus that He’s asked of me in order to fulfill this calling.

The message at church today was about being obedient to the Lord. One of the things my pastor said that keeps replaying in my head is that partial obedience is disobedience. I’ve told my kids that before. I’ve heard it before. But it’s hitting in a different way now that it’s about my calling in life. I’ve been partially obedient in response to this calling to write a book. I’ve written, I’ve journaled, I’ve started a blog, I’ve joined the writers group, and I’ve even posted some of my writing on social media. But that’s it. And I’ve only done those things when I have time or energy.

I don’t have the discipline to write for myself like I do in other areas of my life. When I don’t have a deadline or a kid yelling or a physical mess right in front of me, non-urgent things tend to take the backburner. And I think that’s okay sometimes. But there was some serious conviction today at church, and I’m thankful for it. I need to be more diligent and disciplined because this is my CALLING, for goodness’ sake!

Today’s message was a good kick in the butt that I needed to be fully obedient and more attentive to what the Lord has provided. It’s given my fresh perspective to take on the challenges and hesitations of this massive undertaking and trust in the Lord to guide me through.

I’ve always struggled with feeling unqualified or underqualified, and I constantly feel like I’m not measuring up and need to strive more and hustle harder. There may be some of that striving and hustling required of me, but I think a lot of it is just pushing forward. Just take the next step in obedience. Watch the next “how to” video, read the next instructional blog, and complete the next task. It’s trusting the process and trusting God for the final product. It’s leaning into Him and believing that He’ll guide me and reveal what I need to accomplish what He’s given me.

I still feel like there is a mountain ahead of me, but I know that mountain has a lot of victories throughout its trails. I know that when I do the work and put in the time and make the climb, God will bring victories big and small. I know that one day I will write and publish a book because God has called me to do and He is faithful. I’m choosing obedience, even though it’s hard and scary and so super confusing. I know my God is good and I know He will see me to the other side of this calling and then some.