If I Don’t Do It, It’s Not Getting Done

If I Don’t Do It, It’s Not Getting Done

January 9, 2024 0 By Laura

Have you ever found yourself saying those words? Or maybe you haven’t spoken them out loud, but you find yourself thinking them a lot. As a single mom and a business owner, I repeat these words–mostly to myself–a lot. Whether it’s about picking up the shoes on the floor for the millionth time, making dinner before we rush out the door to practice, or meeting the client deadlines to send the invoice and pay the bills, a lot rests on me. 

As moms, we often feel like the world would simply stop if we stopped.

And while we all know that truly that isn’t the case, we see evidence that our lack of action will perhaps make our worlds implode. 

I was sick last week, and as a single mom, I don’t get to take sick days. I still have to wake the kids for school, get them on the bus, help with homework, supervise bedtimes, and so on. So because I was saving my energy for those must-do things, I let a lot of other things go undone. While the world didn’t end, I was left with quite the to-do list once I started feeling better. The kitchen was a disaster, kids’ belongings were everywhere, and even the dog left her toys all over the living room (the nerve!). 

Don’t get me wrong now–my kids do chores. They’re pretty adept at keeping the house in order, but only when I remind them or ask. You see, my oldest knows the dishes are his responsibility, and my daughter knows she has to unload the dishwasher when it’s done.

But I didn’t tell them to do those things for a few days in a row, so they simply didn’t do them. Would it have been great if they had done them without asking? Of course. But they are kids, and it’s unrealistic of me to expect them to take care of those things without reminding them. I could have asked them, and I should have asked them, but I simply didn’t, so I was left with the remnants of the messy house.

So here’s the issue: I had help at my disposal, but I didn’t utilize it. 

How often is that where we find ourselves in life? Particularly as moms, we are so quick to play the martyr and have this woe-is-me mindset of “no one helps,” and “it’s all up to me,” and “I have to do everything.” And sometimes, yes, this is the case. But so often, we forget to look around for support, and so we miss out on handing off some of our to-dos and instead carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. 

Some people have more help than others, but that’s not really what I’m talking about. Yes, if you have a spouse or kids or parents or a friend who can help, embrace that and appreciate it. Lean into the community around you because they are there for a reason. But if you don’t have that, I know it can be really hard.

It can feel suffocating to feel so alone and so without help. And even if you do have some help but you’re a single mom, you know that at the end of the day, it’s just you and your kids. Everyone else goes home and back to their own lives and it’s all on your shoulders. 

I know full well the overwhelming weight of that feeling. I know what it’s like to feel like the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel must be decades away because nothing is changing and everything feels so stinking hard all of the time. 

But hear me when I say God is there.

He’s there with you and He’s here with me. And when the weight of the world seems absolutely crushing, He is by your side, hunkered down in the mess with you, just waiting for you to reach out and grab His hand so He can help you up. 

I know God seems silent a lot, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t moving and working in your life. I am preaching this to myself just as much as I want you to understand and grasp this.

God doesn’t have to shout to make a difference.

He doesn’t have to move mountains to make His presence known. He is with you in the calm and the storm and the loud and the quiet.

He is going before you and beside you and behind you all at the same time, and He never ever leaves your side.

He knows where you’ve been and where you’re going, and He knows your darkest hurts and your deepest longings. 

And He bids you not to do life alone anymore. You don’t have to do all the things by yourself. He is there with you, offering you strength and comfort and peace and rest. He’s offering Himself to you–all of Him–so you don’t have to trudge through life weary and defeated any longer. 

As we sit in these truths and let them soak into our souls, let’s decide here and now to accept God’s help and support. 

There are some things in life that are our responsibilities. We need to love our kids well, do our jobs thoroughly, and act with obedience and integrity. We need to do what’s important to take care of ourselves and our loved ones, and we need to be good stewards of what He’s blessed us with. 

But we don’t have to do every single other little thing.

We don’t have to control outcomes, or fix all the problems, or come up with a solution to every single curve ball life throws at us. We don’t have to clench our fists and tense our jaws and begrudgingly struggle through every trial that comes our way. We can release the fear and the pain and the control to the author of the universe, and we can trust that He can handle it better than we ever could.

The next time we feel alone and feel like everything is resting on us and that nothing will get done if we don’t do it, let’s take an inventory of what is truly our responsibility in that moment, and let’s leave the rest to God. Let’s prioritize what we actually need to do, and let the rest simply be. 

I learned recently that the infamous Beatles song, “Let It Be,” has a really cool story behind it. Paul McCartney lost his mom to cancer when he was only 14 years old. Ten years later, his mom came to him in a dream and noticed he was upset. His mom simply said to him, “Let it be.” He woke up and wrote the song as a reminder to himself that some things are better left alone. 

Let’s be followers of God who trust our good Father to direct our steps and do what’s best for us.

Let’s remember that He is good at being in control and we are not, and we don’t have to do everything in order for the world to keep on spinning.